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The Marriage of Carl Baydala
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Disclaimers and
purpose of play
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The following is a work of fiction
and is not intended to portray any real life figures.
Carl Baydala's life in this play is purely imaginary.
The purpose of the play is to consider issues in philosophy such as idealism and materialism. Also considered are issues of love and lust, things created by God and having an effect on man.
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dedicated to my dream girl on her birthday
dedicated to my dream girl on her birthday
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Part One
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A Marriage made in Heaven and
sanctioned by the gods
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A Play
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by Carl Baydala
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Cast of Characters:
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Ida - goddess of ideas
Matt - god of matter
Lord God Jehovah - a god
Jesus Christ - Son of God
Carl Baydala - the groom
Katy - the bride
Elana - bridesmaid
Arthur Schopenhauer - philosopher
Fairy Chelsea - wedding attendant
Master of Ceremonies
Justice of the Peace
Bert - Best man
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A host of gods and goddesses
and assembled philosophers
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Setting: The backwaters of space on a Saturday night. ( Heaven ) Ida and Matt are at home and getting ready to go to the wedding.
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Act One: Scene One:
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Characters: Ida and Matt
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Ida and Matt are getting ready to go to the wedding of Katy and Carl. . Ida starts off the conversation.
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Ida in the livingroom: " Honey have you seen my scarf?"
Matt: Responding with a raised voice from the bathroom: " C'mon Babe I'm getting ready, you're on your own. Scarf? ....What do you need a scarf for? "
Ida: " It's cold out and I don't want to get a chill. .. Well, thanks a lot. Some husband you turned out to be. "
Matt: " Oh Babe, relax. Give me a chance to get organized..... OK. Give me a minute and I will be out to help you. "
Ida sitting down on the couch: " Thanks sweetie. I'm going to sit down for a bit. I'm just totally exhausted. I never thought this thing would have such an effect on me... ( raising her voice ) Can you hear me Honey?"
Matt speaking loudly again while shaving: " Yeah, I heard you. I'll be out shortly....did you check all the drawers....and what about the hook in the hallway? "
Ida: " It's nowhere Honey. Hurry up and get in here and help me....p'leeze! "
Matt: " I'll be finished in a sec Babe. "
Matt finishes shaving and makes his way to the livingroom. He sits down next to Ida. He kisses her on the cheek.
Matt: " You look fantastic Honey! You're so great looking with those earings on you know - the same ones you had on on our wedding night. Wow! You're really going all out for this one Babe. .. what's that perfume you have on? "
Ida: " Oh, come on Honey....it's the usual one - the one you told me was your favourite.....Now I know why men were just an after thought...just kidding Honey....just kidding. "
Matt: " I know you were Babe. I guess that is why I adore you so much. "
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He leans over and kisses her again.
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Ida: " I guess that is why I love you so much Matt. You really are a very understanding man. For a man and a god of matter, that is. ....I suspect that some of my work, and dare I say, ideas, are rubbing off on you and making a real man out of you - a caring, loving man, that is. "
Matt chuckling: " Take it easy Honey. I know that you didn't really mean that and that you were just trying to provoke me in your own little way of course ....I don't want to have any arguments right now anyway Babe, not tonight. This is such a special night, it's your night, so let's not spoil it.... And, besides, save your ammo for when we get to the banquet hall and you run into guys like Jehovah. I am sure He will there as big as life. "
Ida: " Good god! What a thought. Of course He will be there. He probably thinks He is responsible for this whole thing. I mean, totally. Typical male chauvinist. God, He is such a boor. I am surprised He has any followers left at all. Saying He created the universe and then creating woman out of man. Why do you think He did that hmmm? And, then to top things off making woman subservient to man. And, then blaming the whole thing on a snake. What a hopeless excuse for a man. ....Serpents and devils.... Is that the best He could do? He is just a big loud mouth with big ideas. Ideas that didn't work. One day He will learn about ideas and who makes things happen and how they happen. Look at what He did to His Son. What a real comedy show that was. A real winning act. Sending Jesus down to Earth to save mankind. What a farce! Killed His Son and caused Him all of that pain.... for nothing. A total waste of time if you ask me. He had no right to act like that you know. I just get so angry when I think about the things that He did. And, it's His attitude too..."
Matt: " Honey, slow down. Like I said, this is a special night. I know that you don't like how Jehovah handled that whole thing, but let it go for now. He probably meant well even if He did not succeed as you say. You are way too hard on Him. Think of Katy and Carl and think of the good times we will have tonight. Everyone will be there. All the gods and philosophers and famous people. Everybody from Earth. This is a huge event. Everyone is happy for Carl and Katy. Absolutely everyone. They all know what you accomplished Babe. .... Of course Jehovah will be there. You can't just snub Him you know. He has a right to be there, just like everyone else. Surely, you can lay down your feelings about Jehovah for one night....I know that He is not one of your favourite people, but give it a rest....it's not the end of the universe....He really does mean well and besides, Jesus is no worse for wear after the whole thing anyway."
Ida: " Yes, I suppose you are right. You really do have some fine ideas Honey - for a man and a god of matter, that is. ..
She giggles, leans over and pinches his cheek playfully.....and continues...
...I guess I will just have to control myself, for tonight anyway. I wonder what I did with my scarf. "
Matt: " Oh, I'm sure it will show up before we have to leave. So, tell me Honey. Was this whole thing just your idea or what? I mean, I know you have pretty special qualities and all but this is really something....if you pull it off, I mean."
Ida: " C'mon Honey. Who do you think you married anyway, some second-rate goddess or something? I am the original idea woman you know....well, maybe you didn't know. " " Men, matter, if they only knew. " she said to herself.
Matt: " Yeah, I suppose you are right Honey. You know your stuff. I will back you up on that one. You're just a big bundle of ideas now aren't you?....but, tell me....just how did you pull this thing off? I mean, Carl and Katy just seemed so apart....and for so long. I never thought you could bring them together the way you did. But, you did it Honey. You did it! You got everything done and they are almost up to the alter...you did everything just like you said you would. I am very proud of you Honey. ( he leans over and kisses her again )....And, besides, I like Carl and the guy needed a break and you stepped in to help him out. "
Ida: " Well, I guess I just had an idea, like I always do. That's how these things start off you know. Yes, you are right about Carl of course. He certainly deserves to be with the girl of his dreams. And, he certainly is in love with a very special person indeed.... But, you're just a man, you are not supposed to understand these things Honey. "
Matt: " C'mon Babe. That's not fair. I know that you are Miss Original and that kind of thing, but give us guys, us matter guys that is, a break. We are just as important as you are you know. Think about it. We need each other. "
Ida leaned over and kissed him on the lips. " I love you Honey...and you are right about that one, even though I hate to admit it of course. "
Matt: " I love you too Babe...so are you going to tell me or what? "
Ida: " Later. For now, just think of Katy as a woman of the future and a woman of destiny. That is all I can tell you right now..... You'll see. C'mon help me find my scarf so we can get going. "
She grabbed his arm and they got up from the couch.
Ida: " I'll check the closet again and you look in the other room..OK? "
Matt: " Sure, Honey whatever you say. "
Matt was thinking about Carl and what a lucky guy he was. He knew what he was going through. Loving that girl all those years and finally, luck turning his way. He would get to marry Katy after all. Katy was a beautiful woman. The perfect woman just like Ida. God they could be twins they were so alike. Attractive looking and just plain perfect that is what they were. Katy was an exceptional woman and he could understand why Ida was interested in her. He entered the other room and searched high and low for Ida's scarf. Why do women have to be like this anyway he thought to himself. Good grief, you'd think a goddess would have her act together when it came to organizing things. I mean, look at what she just pulled off. The biggest wedding that he would most likely every attend, besides his own that is. And, now here he was looking for his wife's scarf. A goddess losing her scarf. What would they think of next?
He heard Ida's voice from the other room..
Ida: " I found it Honey! I found it! "
Great, Matt thought to himself, she had found it now he could quit looking. He stopped searching.
Matt raising his voice so Ida could hear: " Good work Honey. I'm happy for you. Let's get going. We don't want to be late now do we? "
He left the spare room and made his way into the hallway to meet Ida. She was putting her overcoat on and wrapping up her scarf around her neck. Matt looked at her. She was beautiful. She would always be. He had married the best damn goddess in the universe. Her hair looked wonderful and the gold earings that she wore twirled slightly and glimmered under the hallway light. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around here.
Matt: " I love you Honey. " He smelled the perfume that she was wearing and he flashed back to his wedding night. He was the luckiest god in the universe.
Ida: " Later Honey. We have a wedding to go to. "
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End of Part One
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The Marriage of Carl Baydala - Part 5 The Marriage of Carl Baydala - Part 6 The Marriage of Carl Baydala - Part 7 The Marriage of Carl Baydala - Part 8
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